Wednesday, May 17, 2006

H...E...double toothhpicks!

Oh Hell! I can't believe the bad fortune. There it was, shining like a jewel in a Technicolor Sinbad the Sailor movie, and I blew it.

**ouch**

**ouch**

**ouch**

That was just me kicking myself.

What?

Oh, I woke up to find that I was eligible for a designer purse (pending participation) and that I would also soon be enjoying a free 42" Samsung widescreen HDTV, and what did I do?

That's right, I accidentally tossed out the emails.

How am I supposed to enjoy my Hoodia and the new penis enlarging cream I ordered without a 42" TV? And where will I put them without that designer purse?

God, I'm so stoopid.

11 comments:

Wendy said...

My internet service provider is so diligent that I never get any good spam...err I mean offers.

gregg said...

I like spam fried in butter on wheat. Was it Steve Martin's penis cream? That shit is the bong.

tshsmom said...

I'll send you some viagra offers, and investment opportunities if it'll make you feel better. ;)

Miranda said...

Ha. You only have enlargement cream. I have an offer for "crocus manhood." And something about a "dysplasia warplane death."

K said...

Dang... I hope you didn't delete the HorNyHouzewife emails too. I've met her... HorNy doesn't even begin to say it.

Shawn said...

Steve Martin's cream is too effective, the FDA banned it cause users weren't getting any work done.

I don't know HorNy, but her sister Tiny~Tina is apparently ready for my every need.

Slade said...

hehe--thank goodness I never get enlargement cream ads...well, at least not the kind I would want.

Laura said...

Why don't I get those??? (crying) I'm just not in the Special People Club I guess...

thephoenixnyc said...

You really are a silly man. If you would help that poor Nigerian prince out you could BUY 20 42" plasma TVs.

tshsmom said...

You know Tiny-Tina too?! I LOVE her grasp of spelling.
Wait a minute! Tiny-Tina said I was the ONLY one she was corresponding with!

Shawn said...

Sorry T-mom, Tiny~Tina is a tramp. But she's a crazy tramp that will anything for me apparently.

I miss all my Nigerian friends sending me stuff. Sadly, despite several tries to get those millions in oil money out of their country, I haven't been successful yet. Hope springs eternal though.