Monday, October 17, 2005

What to do?

Pi is the most famous ratio in mathematics, and is one of the most ancient numbers known to humanity. PI is approximately 3.14, by definition, the number of times that a circle's diameter will fit around the circle. PI goes on forever, and can't be calculated to perfect precision.

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751....


I've got the day off...what to do?

I thought about - once and for - solving the mystery of pi, but I'm kind of getting a late start. It's already 1 p.m. Also, what would I do if I actually did solve the mystery? Do I have time to be a mathematics superstar? I think not. I rather enjoy my anonymity in public.

Just think about it... I come up with the definitive answer to the pi question and suddenly I'm thrust into the spotlight. I probably win a Nobel Prize and then become filthy rich. I'll be expected to lecture, of course, but will I get to talk about cool stuff like who the best X-men character is? No, I'll be expected to talk about math. I don't even like math guys, I just solved the pi thing on a lark...

Then there's the money. What will I do with it all? I'll donate a bunch to the next hurrinadoquakeslidenami disaster that comes along...I won the Nobel Prize for chrissakes...I've got to be charitable.

Then I'll buy a sports franchise. What a hassle that will be. And then no one will like me if the team sucks, which it will because who ever sells an awesome, winning team? And I won't get to hit on the cheerleaders for fear of a lawsuit, so what's the point?

As you can see, I'm what you might call, a thinkin' man. Yup, I do it all the time... sometimes it even hurts. It's how I've somehow managed to avoid the pratfalls of sucess. Many less bright people have jumped right in and made contributions to the greater good. What has it got them? Acclaim, nice houses, and admiration from their fellow human beings, that's what. Well, not me. I'm too smart for that.

So, for now, the secret of pi will remain just that. I'm gonna jest go down by Starbucks and get me one of them fancy coffees or somethin'.

6 comments:

tshsmom said...

Trust me Shawn, you'd get bored before you solved it! My girlfriend did this as a math project in high school. She filled a spiral notebook with it and she still didn't get to the end.

J├╝rgen Nation said...

Aw, what's wrong with math guys? My boyfriend's a math and aerospace Ph.D. And he's COOL! And funny!

Oh, think what you want. :)

Shawn said...

tshsmom - I wasn't going to actually spend that much time on it...just solve it with a brilliant flash of understanding.

JN - OOOps...my bad...I didn't mean I don't like math guys...I meant, I don't like math, guys... And to think I used to get paid money to edit things. Look no further for a modern-day miracle.

Slade said...

My mind goes off in various directinos just like this...I'll start with one thing which leads to another, and before you know it I'm far away from where I began

Eileen said...

yeah, you should probably just go back to bed. Who wants all that hassle?

Shawn said...

No, I think I can tread the fine line Eileen...I just have to be careful not to foolishly rush in and do something epic.

I'm heading down to the pub for a tastey Newcastle. You can rest assured that I will not be doing anything that will change the world (too much) tonight.

Heh, what's the deal with restauranteurs in the Nati not wanting to speak any Spanish. You guys are a bunch of meanies...