Is it magic?

Is it just me, or does anyone else wonder where all the Steven Seagal movies come from?

For a while, it seemed like the four or five that they always showed on the USA or TNT networks were about four or five too many. Now, it seems like there are about 500 previously unknown Steven Seagal movies on the telly.

What gives?

Did there really have to be any more Steven Seagal movies after 'Above the Law'? I can answer that one for you. No. Why? Because every other movie after 'Above the Law' was really only 'Above the Law' with different costumes.

So, you think I'm a little too worried about this strange Seagal phenomenon? Go check out IMDB and tell me there's not something odd going on. In 2005 alone the guy was in four movies. Let me repeat that. Steven Seagal made four movies in 2005. This year, he already has two movies released with two more in post production, he's attached to a third, and he's currently filming another.

I think it's time to admit that the impossible is indeed possible. That's right - Steven Seagal is a space alien. He is indeed the tip of a fullscale alien invasion. And worse yet...all the aliens look exactly like him. Some are already here helping pave the way. And they clearly have helpers in key Hollywood positions. How else could a seemingly washed up B-lister suddenly be making all these movies?

Face it. There's no other possible explanation.

How awful would it be if their plan is to bore us to death with crappy movies?

I hope the end comes quick. It was nice knowing you.

**More Seagal mayhem... Perhaps one of the funniest things of all time, is knowing that in one of the 2006 projects - 'The Untitled Onion Movie' - Seagal's character is called simply, Cock Puncher. That's beyond awesome!

***Seagal brush with greatness... My friend Eric's ill-fated first marriage was to Ginger Lewis, who had a memorable role in the classic 'Under Siege 2'. She was the Lady Hostage. She distracts the terrorists by coming out of the train's bathroom and saying, "My bra broke..."

Oddly, I've first seen Eric's first wife and his current wife by renting movies. His current wife is the real Erin Brockovich. She was seen in the movie as the waitress in a diner who waited on Julia Roberts. Her character's name? Uh-huh...Julia. Oh those daffy Hollywood writers.

More great work...

Why do we deserve to be the target of extremists around the world? We're just holding aloft the shining light of Liberty.

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (a military base on the soil of a country we've been embargoing for 30 years...)


• Estimated 590 terror suspects from about 40 countries held


• 139 already released


• 12 "transferred for continued detention" in home countries


• Four detainees charged

Numbers courtesy of the BBC. The Bush administration doesn't feel the need to officially share these, or any other, numbers with the American people. Keep up the good work, vote Republican.

More Silver Screen...

Just a quick nod to another classic Hollywood beauty, Ardis Anderson Gaines. She was known to the public as Brenda Marshall.

A contract player at Warner Bros. in the early 1940s, Brenda Marshall played opposite Errol Flynn in the swashbuckler, The Sea Hawk in 1940. It was a busy year for Marshall as she had parts in five movies that year. She was in four movies in 1941. After that her output slowed.

She was married to William Holden for many years, from 1941 to 1973. It was a less than happy union and was marked by many separations. After marrying Holden, her career declined and she faded from the screen.

She died in 1992 in Palm Springs.

Black Wednesday...

Don't even try to talk to me right now. This is a black, black week indeed.

First, I find that Scarlett Johansson is cavorting with Josh Hartnett in the Carribean. Yeah, splish splashing around with a dork. A rich dork, granted... Gaaahhhh! That's just not right.

Oh well, it can't get worse than that can it?

Why yes it can. Katie Holmes had her baby. No, not the one that I'm the father of...the other one that's not in my imagination. How nice that the news was awaiting me on my computer as I rolled back home from a job at 5 a.m. this morning. Damn you news feeds.

All this during a week when I actually have to work for a living too.

Rumsfeld is the bestest...

The President has a bestest friend. That's so nice. He deserves to have a good pal ya know. And you shouldn't be mean to him 'cause he's gonna keep him forever and ever.

"I'm the decider and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain," Mr Bush said.

No news on whether his invisible friend will be sticking around too.


P.S. - raise your hand if you think we'll attack Iran or provoke them into attacking us before the November elections...

Who knew that Frank Zappa was the level-headed one?

One of the flaws of television is the lack of continuity. What's said today is gone tomorrow. Images flash across the screen while words and sounds emit from a speaker. It's quick and it's easy.

As a way of quickly conveying thoughts and images, television is an excellent tool. Unfortunately, television has a short memory. Did you tape that interview given by a politician, record that press conference? Not very likely.

What are the chances you'll be able to go back and watch it again? Pretty slim.

So, if a talking head says 'A' one day and then says 'B' several weeks, or months, or years later, will they be questioned about it? Again, not likely. Who will remember?

The internet offers up a similar set of problems. Perhaps even greater one's because of the speed and reach of it. If I blog about something one day, then delete it, and then a month from now deny it, who will question that?

There's a good side to the internet too. The spread out nature of it makes more accessible to the average man. Anyone can have a say and be heard. If enough people want to hear that person's thoughts, the reach is nearly infinite. Sitting in a room in Wisconsin, I can reach around the world. That's crazy.

Another thing that is happening is that some far-seeing people have realized the importance of archiving some what's going on in the world. Their efforts help to insure that the revisionists in government, the media and business can't completely shape the past to fit their current whims.

All this is a long-winded way of saying I found this interesting little snippet from way back. If you watch it all, you might realize that Frank Zappa made a couple of prescient calls that seem eerily true today.

Happy Easter this...

Um yeah...that's all I got. Have a good one. Cheers.

Stick this...

Picture the scene... It's an ungodly 8 a.m., and we're on a fine Midwestern freeway heading into Milwaukee. For those of you who are irritating morning people, pretend it's the middle of the night.

A coffee was slammed on the way out the door, but there's no hope that it will hit your brain cells before you get to the seminar you have no interest in...yeah, that's where you're headed. Great, huh?

That was my morning.

Pretty much how you're imagining it, but with a bit of difference.

See, I'm guessing that you didn't imagine seeing a bumper sticker that got you annoyed. Yeah the one that said, "Stop inbreeding, ban country music." Normally, that would get a chuckle even though it's a bit old.

Not today.

Today it just bothered me that people were jamming their five or six word beliefs in my face. Mind you, I'm not even a big country music fan, but I do like some of it. And I didn't really even take offense at the statement. It was more of a, 'you wouldn't put that on a t-shirt and wear it to work, so why do you think it's fine here?' kind of thing.

It took a while to pass the guy - who looked plenty inbred I might add - as I wasn't driving. So, by the time we did pass him, I had come up with a little visual koan for him.

I flipped him off.

For some reason, he didn't grasp the opportunity to learn and sort of tossed my lesson back to me. Not with a manful, firm flip off either - it was a bit of a pussy flip off to tell the truth.

I was undeterred though. There were two more opportunities ahead and I took advantage of them to spread some more Zen-like wisdom.

One had a somewhat faded "Abortion Kills" bumper sticker that I took as a visual fuck you, to which I held up the mirror of a flip off. As is the nature of Zen teaching, the lesson shocked the woman driving a bit. Unfortunately, she didn't experience instant enlightenment. Oh well, I did what I could to help her leave Samsara behind. It's not my fault if she didn't grasp the lesson and nurture it in her heart.

The next one had a simple "Bush/Cheney" bumper sticker. No need to explain how I took that - definitely a request for enlightened freeway discourse.

What can I say? I tried to point out how irritating it is to see that sort of aggravating statement on someone's car - how that sticker said, "Yeah, I voted for the asshat and he won...your guy lost, so kiss my Republican ass," just as clearly as muttering it in my ear in the checkout lane at Piggly Wiggly.

Well, of course he missed the whole point. What could I expect? He did vote for an asshat and he's proud of it...

Anyway, despite my finest efforts, no one gained enlightenment this morning - it's not easy teaching on the freeway. You can't say I didn't give it my best shot.

Mulletpalooza

The house across the street is getting a new roof. So, the busy bees are busy being a bit annoying. Ah well, the price of progress.

I'm pretty sure the worksite is the centerpiece of some mullet convention. Without spending any time trying, I've already spotted four mullets of various designs. So, the count as of noon is: Mullets - 4, Ass cracks - 2, Smoke breaks - 43.

It's promising to be an entertaining day.

***Flash update***

The fire department just rolled two engines, a paramedic truck, and the chief's truck. The newspaper guy in me wanted to rush out with a camera and follow them.

Whoah...another siren.

Must be a structure fire. What I would give for a scanner right now.

***Flash update 2***

The roofers have broken for lunch. I don't think they're the cause of the fire.

Spring day

Today, in a strange confluence of events, I awoke to find a beautiful, sunny day, an awesome link on Josh's blog and time to listen to some Beckett.

The link is Bono giving a speach in the style of Beckett. It's good stuff. It made me listen to a couple Beckett works on Boris - my iPod. Man, could that guy write. He's definitely worth reading, and even more worth listening to.

"Birth was the death of him." Who could beat that for an opening line? Not many, that's for sure. I've never come close.

Anyway, it's spring. So, I blame the following on Josh, Beckett and the sunshine...

On Seeing A Young Girl In Spring

Soft hair blowing,
flowing. Golden.
Golden glowing,
blowing without a care.

Catching sunlight.
Bouncing, warm bright,
shining back just right.
Gleaming fire. Young, light hair.

No soft touch for me,
no careless brush
given light, and free.
So long since a breast seen bare.

Too far the years,
and with the years,
too many tears.
Love left, none to spare.

And, yet, young hair blowing,
softly glowing,
gently flowing,
Moves old heart to care.

3D fun and frivolity

It's been a 3D Saturday. Trying to get a handle on a 3D program I've had for a while. It's been slow going, but I sort of get it a bit now. Yeah!

This is what I've got so far. Yippee.

Now, out to the pub and maybe back to the drawing board later.

Um yeah...

I'm pretty sure I remember that the Prez said leaks were bad...very bad...and he would sack whoever was leaking stuff. Because we just can't have that kind of deception.

Which makes one wonder how he plans on sacking himself. And just how long can one person let another take the heat and face jail time for them? Who would ever question the ethics and morals of such a man?

Moldy what?

I still love checking up on my site meter. I learn the darndest things and sometimes I'm consumed by burning questions.

Who at NATO headquarters in Brussels had to Google 'woody allen quote school reunion'? And who in Ankarra, Turkey was wondering about 'ghengis dea wow'?

And, do people actually work at work anymore? How does anything get done?

To the dude in Florianpolis, Brazil...I'm sorry you didn't find your 'woodies longboards' here. I do hope you got a woodie somewhere. Wood is important for a young man.

Mostly, my apologies go out to the thousands of people who seem to need to know about moldy cheese - I'm sorry that the info you seek isn't here. I will do a bit of research to see if I can find all the things you need to know, like 'why is cheese moldy', 'is cheese made of mold' and 'is moldy cheese bad.' Maybe I'll even find y'all some 'pictures of moldy cheese'... Won't that be grand?

Don't say I don't care about people's needs.

Wechsel this

Das Leben gehört den Lebenden an, und wer lebt, muss auf Wechsel gefasst sein.

Life belongs to the living, and those who live must be prepared for change.

- J.W. von Goethe (1749-1832), 'Wilhelm Meisters Wanderjahre'

I'm tired. I wish that would change.

Florida?

Maybe it's just as Kris says, a weeping Baby Jesus caused heavy downpours on the East coast because of the Gators' big win last night. I like to think that the B.J. - much like my former co-worker Brian - would have only been weeping for the game, which wasn't very good. Brian was a sportswriter and used to always say he was rooting for the game. I'm pretty sure that the B.J. is enough of a sports fan to just want to see a good game.

If he was pulling for someone though, it would have been UCLA. They come from the City of Angels after all. And everyone loves California deep down - even those crusty New Yorkers have a secret spot in there hearts filled with warm thoughts of beaches and Bay Watch girls.

Of course...Florida can give California a run for their money on the beaches and babes front, but it's not really the same is it?

Before tripping too much further down the merry path, I should tell you that I've been a Florida fan for a while - just not basketball. These guys did win me over though and for much of March, my Florida hat sat perched on my sparsely-haired head.

Not last night though. Sorry guys, but I've been a UCLA fan for a lot longer. They were part of my formative years, what can I say?

Anyway, I was hoping to share some pithy observations about the game, the teams, and the nature and state of sport, but I can't really get past the thought that the Florida players always make me think of the Mouse.

Seriously, they look like the cast of a Disney Kids sitcom about a basketball team. You've got the white black guy, the crazy hair guy, the jock guy...you get the picture. They even sort of look like they could all be made into cartoons with little effort. All they really need to round out the show is wise-crackin' towel guy, a cheerleader and her smart roommate.

I just keep picturing them getting into silly binds by messing up a rich alum's sports car at the fundraising car wash, or cleaning the dorms for three days because they can't sleep after concocting some elixir to help them stay awake to study. Or maybe, it would be the always popular Flubber experiment gone awry that would get them into quite a pickle.

Golly, maybe this was a heartwarming game after all. Those crazy kids pulled it off. Or, maybe it was just a mildly entertaining end to a long month of college basketball...

Red Dakini

Tibetan Buddhism has a lot of interesting deities and spirits. One is Mahakala, the Great Black One. He's got bulging eyes, canine teeth, a black visage, and wears a crown of skulls. Talk about tough. Others, like Yamantaka, the slayer of the lord of death, and Palden Lhamo, the consort of Mahakala, are equally striking.

I used to be a bit scared of the images of some of the wrathful deities since they tend to be grotesque and none too friendly looking. They serve some great purposes though, mostly as defenders.

I always found the Dakini interesting. They are protectors of wisdom and various learnings. They dance feverishly and represent both nature and the natural qualities of women in general. They are inticing but not sexual and are often found as part of Tantric rites. They generally test those who call on them, only helping when the supplicant has proven themselves worthy.

Dakini is translated from Sanskrit and is generally interpreted to mean 'sky dancer', 'celestial woman' or 'space-goer'. The Tibetan term for them is khandro, 'master of space' or 'master of ether'. In the context of Buddhism, this relates to the concept of emptiness. Thus, Dakinis can speed enlightenment by revealing the truth of emptiness.

Above is an image of a Red Dakini. She is dancing on a lotus flower. Under her foot is a body. In her right hand is a ceremonial knife called a trigug. It is used to fight the demons of ignorance. In her left hand is a skull cup, kapala, that serves as a reminder of mortality, the transient nature of existence and as an offering bowl. She has a staff held in the crook of her arm. It represents the male facet.

Much better mood...

I'm much less irritable today. Still annoyed, but much less so than I was. Deep breaths. Helpful hint...don't mix family and business. Deep breath. Wuuuuuu Saaaaaa...

A couple things have made me happier. First, my dog - Bertrand - is better. He wasn't doing too well for the last couple of days and that frayed my nerves. He's sort of become my parent's dog over time, since they kept him when I couldn't have a dog and got attached enough to keep him with them. So, they've had frayed nerves too.

He had a intestinal blockage thing going on and might have needed surgery. That would have sucked. He was on an IV for a day and that was enough to get him going...so to speak. Anyway, that whole thing had me on edge. Gladly, it seems to be over and he's doing fine. Still waiting on some tests to make sure there's not something else going on.

Second, women's tennis. I watched a great match the other night and it did a lot to keep my mind distracted and me entertained. I do love tennis...

Watched the final of the NASDAQ tournament today. Not as good as the match the other night, but it was still fun to watch.