Saturday, September 24, 2005

Some thoughts...

The other night we had some all-night t-storms. Pretty good ones too. There was a lot of lightning that looked pretty impressive. A lot of it was that kind of lightning that crackles sideways - across the sky - instead of down toward ground.

It got me wondering. How fast does lightning move when it crackles? I'm guessing pretty fast.

Then I began to wonder if there are any superheros that could outrun (or outfly) lightning? Not just dodge it, but actually beat it in a race. I think both Flash and Superman could go faster than lightning, but I don't think either of them have the reflexes and burst of initial speed it would take to beat a lightning bolt. Maybe I'm wrong...

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Driving always gets me wondering about the future of humanity and whether we have actually advanced much in a million years. It seems doubtful.

What I was most recently wondering was this... Why is it that people with NASCAR stickers on their cars always suck at driving. And why does the level of suckiness increase in relation to the size of the sticker? And why do people who have Dale Earnhardt's number in their window suck the most?

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Why must every "Totally free, no obligations, ever!" deal always require my credit card?

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Why don't I ever see penis and breast enlargement spam anymore?

Maybe all the guys on the street now have enormous penises...it's a bit hard to tell without getting beat up or arrested.

If all the women on the street bought the breast enlargers or breast enlarging cream, it didn't work. Maybe it just takes time. I remain hopeful.

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If breast enlarging cream really worked, what would happen if you only put it on one breast?

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If I live in "America's Dairyland", where the fuck are all the cows? Are they kept in secure underground facilities? If you're thinking about coming to Wisconsin to see the cows, don't bother...there aren't any.

I think they all moved to California. Maybe they knew the Packers were going to suck this year and they couldn't bear to be around for it.

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Why is it that in "America's Dairyland" the only types of cheese to be found in the stores are American, cheddar, Swiss and mozzarella? We call ourselves Cheeseheads and we don't even have any good cheese here. What's that about?

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Do Nigerian scams actually work? Are there really people who believe that the widow of "a high government official" really needs their help to get millions of dollars transferred out of the country?

3 comments:

Laura said...

What I want to know is: Do they have breast reducing cream? I mean, I've seen some women out there who've obviously dabbled in the enlarging creams and went overboard. Personally, I've never tried them myself, but I was luckily endowed by genetics. If I wore a wonderbra I'd not be able to see... ;-)

Shawn said...

If they do...they sure don't advertise it. Obviously, there's a guy in charge of marketing!

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