Thursday, May 12, 2005

If you're a Republican... you're gonna think less of me...


Weapons of Mass Delusionment

Maybe someone can explain this whole weapons of mass destruction thing to me. You remember those. These alleged weapons are the reason we're over in Iraq right now. There were tons -- no really, tons -- of them over there. We weren't sure where that crafty bastard hid them, but they were out there somewhere.

Every day of the leadup to the invasion, we were told by the administration and the Republicans on the hill that we had to get in there quick and stop this huge threat to our security.

"This is a war on terror people... just look at that freak, you just gotta know he's planning to use these Weapons of Mass Destruction. Did y'all get that? That was WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION... That's W.E.A.P.O... ah, heck you fellas can just look it up..."*

So... here we are.

After all this time over there searching, we still haven't found much. Maybe it's just that Republicans suck at finding stuff. They spent how many years funding Kenneth Star? At least he managed to uncover a blowjob... great work Kenny. Maybe if you spent more time getting a blow job than trying to fu@@ the former president up the a$$... but that's a whole different tangent.

(It's also a great possibility for some cheap humour... "Ah Dubya... this is Bubba... you lookin' for weapons of mass destruction? I got one right here in my pants. Hahahahahahahah... Hillary... did you hear that? I just PUNKED Bush!")

My real question is this. Is a nuclear bomb a weapon of mass destruction? I always thought it was. Maybe I'm just naive, but it seems to be a perfect candidate for the name.

So, if we were so worried about weapons of mass destruction, why is it that we had spend all this fucking money looking in a barren, rotten desert when there was a bunch of little North Koreans jumping up and down, waving their hands and screaming, "We've got a bomb over here! We're working on nuclear weapons!"

What, did no one translate that for George W.?

"Uhhh... Sir... we think that when they're saying that they're working on nuclear weapons, they're talkin' about nucular bombs..."

"What! Holy Crap... Nucular bombs are bad!"**

Great job asshole. Thanks a bunch. Yeah I feel so much more secure since you took office. Thank God we didn't elect a Democrat...

I'm not sure if I'm more offended by the politicians who have been feeding me all this crap... or by the people who re-elected Bush because they believed it.

*This is a genuine, simulated, re-enacted conversation with the American people. Actors are being used. No animals were hurt during the filming of this genuine, simulated, re-enacted conversation with the American people...

**This is also a genuine, simulated... c'mon, is it that hard to imagine this actually happening? You know you can sort of picture it. Don't worry, you won't get kicked out of the "I Luv 'Merica" Club


Sadie Lou said...

I think less of you.
Bush Rules!!!

Shawn said...


Sadie Lou said...

If you want the "for reals" answer, I dig Bush because he stands up for what he believes is right, despite popular opinion. Granted we went to war under the false pretense of WMD but this situation with Iraq had been going on long before any Bush was in the White House.
I guess Iraq would be better off under the tyrany of Saddam? Other presidents were content in just talking about how evil Saddam was, without ever stepping forward in the direction of actually doing something about it. American shouldn't just use it's power to subdue the enemy but also to help countries less fortunate than ourselves. The UN would rather hold summits and reason with hostile countries.
I thought bush also did a fantastic job pulling this nation up by the bootstraps after 9/11. He was only in office, what? Nine months before that happened?
He saw us through it and people were generally supportive until rumors of war--look: nobody LIKES war. It's ugly and innocent lives are lost; but horrible situations sometimes call for horrible solutions. It's the means to an end.

that's my 0.02

Shawn said...


(I certainly don't mean to be combative, or offensive, but I feel pretty strongly about critical thought and am highly distrustful of the motivations of people in positions of power. I enjoy spirited debate and often take arguments to the extremes.)

Hey... I'm all for America flexing it's might.

Do I think we're wrong for being in Iraq? No. Do I think the administration -- and more importantly the President -- lied to get us there? Yes.

Our reason for invading Iraq was because they were alleged to have Weapons of Mass Destruction and they weren't allowing us to check up on them. This was said to pose a major and imminent threat to our security. It turns out those weapons were a either a myth or they magically disappeared -- perhaps smuggled out by the Easter Bunny.

Since they didn't exist, either the President lied about them or he's a gullible idiot that was led to his erroneous belief by duplicitious advisors.

For my own sanity, I need to believe that the President isn't a complete simpleton (especially since all those advisors are still advising) -- so, I'm stuck with considering him to be a liar unless I ignore the facts and blindly follow the Republican talking points.

I just wonder what the motivation for going there really was and is...

If we really gave a rat's ass about people suffering under tyrany, we would be in Rwanda right now... we would have never left Somalia... we would never have allowed the Serbs to level Sarajevo... we would be duking it out with at bunch of little yellow North Koreans who are waving nuclear weapons while keeping their own people in poverty, and we certainly would be telling the Chinese to get the fu@@ out of Tibet...

And perhaps in the midst of all that concern for our fellow man, we would address the fact that the majority of black men in this country will either be dead or in jail before they hit 30, most people can't have health insurance and we've been holding a whole boatload of Afghans prisoner in Guantanamo, Cuba for five years.

Whoops... See I just lost it. Sorry about that...

Well, if anyone will still talk to me I promise to play nice in the future...

Sadie Lou said...

I totally understand your digruntled attitude towards my reasoning. I really 'get' the whole thing of "if we're the world's police, then why haven't we stopped other evil dictators? I'm not sure why we haven't gone over into S. Kora yet. As far as I know, they are the next greatest threat to our national security.
Not only that, but those people have lived a life of opression and been deined their basic human rights for generations.
My guess is: We will address S.Korea, it's just one baby step at a time. Look how long it took for us to get involved in the Middle East and that was without the support of the UN.
Would the UN support any involvement in Africa? I doubt it.
In response to the prez being a liar, I can only speculate on what the so called 'real' answer is to why we went over there in the first place. I'm hesitant to believe that the president of the United States would lie to get us involved and everyone in his cabinet would be in support of it. I think he was guided by falsified information or incomplete info. Bush had to make good on his ultimatum he gave Saddam. You can't just say," Step down or we'll make you step down." and then not back it up.

Shawn said...

It's really not your reasoning that disgruntled me... I really do like stirring things up a bit, I think it helps people to think about why they believe certain things.

My beef is with the population of this country in general.

I sat around today watching C-Span. There is an impending filibuster and the Republican leadership is threatening to change the rules of the Senate to get around it. I'm willing to bet that most of America doesn't even realize that this is a major Constitutional challenge and is likely to occur if both sides continue forward.

So, I'm cranky with everyone I guess.

Anyway... Sorry if any of this seems aimed in your direction... I'm a lot easier to get along with when I don't talk politics...

You're a champ for saying what you think.

Sadie Lou said...

I'm always game for a good natured debate. No need for apologies.

joanne said...

Oooo, Republican here. I don't know if I am going to touch this one but I will say that I do agree with both of you on some of these points (of course, leaning more to the Right).