Maybe it hasn't been that boring...

If you live in Wisconsin you will likely fall into one of two camps... those who lament the lack of glamour and excitement in their lives or those who don't even know anything is missing...

Well, I know something's been missing, so I quess you can imagine the funk I've been in for the last week. After stewing about my decidedly unexciting life in an unexciting place -- mostly as I was driving around to do my extremely unexciting job -- for the last week, I had a small epiphany last night. I've actually had some interesting things happen to me.

Here are some of my brushes with greatness:

Group One -- Brushes in Portland

I once came withing inches -- and by inches I mean no more than two -- of running headlong into Ray Charles in the lobby of the Portland Marriott.

I once mistook Richard Harris for a homeless street person. He was shaggy because he was rich and could be and also for a reprise of his role in Camelot. The $500 FILA sweats and the limo to take him literally one block to the theatre gave it away.

I know what Ally Sheedy looks like when she first wakes up. I saw her every morning for a week or so when she was heading out to shoot "Short Circuit."

Once, I said to Junkyard Dog, "Wow, you're Junkyard Dog." He replied, "Yes." Andre the Giant was there too, but he didn't say anything. Andre the Giant, by the way, really was huge.

I know that Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart are cool and down to earth because I watched them send away a limo. They were getting picked up by a friend of theirs who was going to drive them up to Seattle. The friend showed up in a beat up, powder blue, VW Beatle. This was the day after they played a sold out show at the Memorial Colliseum... amazing.

My girlfriend and I met Mikhail Baryshnikov after watching him dance. We waited outside the stage door. Who says you need to live in New York to wait outside stage doors?

I once drank beer with the lead singer of the Screaming Blue Messiahs after their show. Looking back, I wonder if he was gay...

The lead singer of Animotion once sang, "You're My Obsession" to me. This one's a bit hard to prove objectively, but sometimes you just know things are the way they seem...

Other various brushes in Portland include, Olympic gymnast Svetlana Boguinskaya and coach Bela Korolyi, a whole pickup truck of rodeo cowboys, a couple of Miss Rodeo Americas, a few Miss Rodeo Oregons, and Dr. J of the Sixers...

Group Two -- California brushes

Anna Kournikova touched my shoulder in the media room of the Bank of the West tournament at Stanford. She was hot and, oddly enough, not sweaty...

Anna Kournikova touched my shoulder. Yeah, I know I just said that but it was worth repeating because it makes me smile.

My friend Eric and I rode in a limo with some guys from Earth, Wind and Fire. They gave us a lift because we helped them get unlost after they stopped in a Baskin Robbins to get directions. Our stock soared with Laura Levy who we were visiting at work at the time. They let us listen to a new song they had recorded. Alas, they were on the downward slide to the State Fair circuit at the time... a couple of years past their prime. Also, Eric got yelled at for riding in a limo with strangers...

I used to have Brooke Shields' phone numbers. Her work one and her home one... yeah, they were actually real...

I have slept in Erin Brockavich's house. Okay fine... she's married to my friend Eric but it still counts major... Eric, by the way, has always had way more brushes than I have...

I drove with Kato on the 405 not that long after the OJ trial. Alright... it wasn't actually with -- it was next to. He was driving a black Mercedes. He did look over a couple of times... there's not much else to do on the 405 because you certainly aren't going anywhere fast...

Some cool people have actually called me at home including Olympic gymnast Kim Zmeskal, football coach Rich Brooks, tennis player Mary Jo Fernandez and that one Russian figure skater who's name evades me...

So... maybe Wisconsin is a dull place, but at least I've had some neat times... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rustle up some cheese curds, some bad beer and a bratwurst...