Thursday, May 19, 2005

Retarded drivers...

What is the invisible force that makes people pull out in front of me causing me to slow down when there's not a car behind me for at least a mile and a half? Would it seriously hurt these people to wait the three or four seconds it would take for me to pass by merrily on my way?

I know some of my bitches about bad drivers are universal, but I live in Wisconsin where people even transfer their bad driving skills to non-driving situations like shopping. When I used to try and politely squeeze by in the aisles -- I was treated like a visitor from another dimension. Now I push the carts out of the way and only acknowledge the presence of other shoppers in my path with disdainful grunts -- I haven't been smiled at more. Go figure.

Back to driving...

Oh, never mind. It's not worth it.


Sadie Lou said...

Bad driving is everywhere. You used to live here, so you know the laid-back mentality around these parts.
The worst thing is our intersections. Everyone acts like they don't know who's turn it is. I always know. You end up with these people waving some car to go and then that person gets this sudden burst of humbleness and they're like, "Oh, no, no, go."
I always just step on it and dust them all.
My favorite new thing is the cell phone losers. I really think it should be against the law to talk on the phone and drive at the same time. You just KNOW these people you see chatting away are incapable of doing two things at once let alone all the skills it takes to drive with one hand, carry on a conversation AND pay attention to the rules of the road.
I'm with ya Shawn.

Laurie said...

You couldn't be more right when it comes to bad driving skills effortlessly translating into bad shopping skills. My favorite asshole shopper: The "Walking Way Too Slow And Taking Up The Entire Aisle And Somehow Sensing Your Next Step By Gradually Shifting Toward Whatever Route You Were Planning To Take To Get Around Them" Shopper. I hate them. Seriously.

Shawn said...

Picture the "Walking Way Too Slow And Taking Up The Entire Aisle..." Shopper and multiply by an entire state and you would have Wisconsin shoppers. I swear to White Buffalo Woman, they are nearly all like that...

It has driven me to accidently take out Achilles tendons with my wobbly wheeled shopping cart. "Gosh... I'm sorry, did I get you?"

I'm sure there's a special place in hell for me for that... and I'm guessing that Beelzebub's henchmen will all be wearing Packers' green and yellow and taking up entire aisles... and, of course, the store will be Wal-Mart.

The Zombieslayer said...

Well, there are different levels of bad drivers. Worst places to drive - probably Seattle, New York City, and Boston (although I've never been to Boston, according to AAA, they're the worst).
As much as people rag on L.A. drivers, at least when there's no traffic, they drive.
Texas has horrible drivers. They're more along the lines of anything stupid they can possibly do, they'll do.
Central California, they all drive SUVs the speed limit in the left lane. That drives me nuts.
San Francisco Bay Area - not too bad actually. They drive fast, but not wrecklessly like Dallas drivers.
Chicago tailgates way too much.
Never been to Wisconsin though.
Florida though would drive me nuts. Everyone's old there. I like what they did in New Zealand. You hit 70, your license is gone, but you get free public transportation for the rest of your life. If they did that in Florida, it probably wouldn't be so bad.